Madness? This. IS. SOFTBALL!

I blame Zeus, that bearded bastard.

NOT Micah.

Sitting up there on Mount Olympus, hurling bolts of lightning and blasts of rain down on our fields with little-to-no concern about how he’s totally screwing with our game schedule. As it stands, we the proud few, are already facing a pair of daunting Triple-headed-monsters with bats and clubs in hand, and our brave, brave general, Sir Ian. Boldly running off to the arid land of Las Vegas in order to do…important general-type things, surely. He is certainly in no way abandoning us to our fate. No, he probably realizes that we are once again facing a flooded battlefield and consequently: more delays.

If this keeps up, I fear the escalation shall continue, with 4-5-and six-headed Hydras soon on the horizon.

So what steps can we take to stave off this onslaught of torrential rain? With this question in mind, I donned my investigative battle gear, and dove through the internets to see what information I could find. Rather quickly I found a story about archaeologists for the University of Pennsylvania Museum that found a Mycenaean cult dedicated to the Olympian lord  that, among pieces of silver and bronze statues, “early writings suggest that Mycenaean cult members sacrificed animals [mostly sheep and goats]— and possibly even humans”(link)

Hmm…

Considering modern opinions of such things in western cultures, I have a modest proposal adapting the ideas:

• Instead Silver and bronze I’m thinking he’ll settle for a cashier’s cheque. (From someone other than AIG)
• Instead of sheep or goats, I propose a Baconator from Wendy’s with a Frostee. (A combination to which I’ve never been able to say no)
• If any of the more dedicated players wish to volunteer themselves for the final piece of the…uh, never mind.

I’m not saying this will work, but after almost a solid month of rain-outs, desperate times call for desperate measures. It’s either this or we build an Ark.  Though, looking over my notes, I see there may be a tiny flaw in my logic.

It could, after all, be Thor. And I have no idea how to perform a blót.