A disturbing phenomenom revealed itself at Express’ June 16 games.
Arnie Applebaum is displaying some unusual behavior.
Like Gene Simmons.
Or Mr. Winkle.
Let’s explore some reasons why.
According to “Elizabeth” at whystuffworks.com, humans stick out their tongues while concentrating as a result of their nephilim ancestry. You see, angels extended their tongues to test weather conditions before taking flight. Their wingless descendents, the nephilim, interbred with post-Diluvian humans, thus passing on the now-obsolete angelic habit. Sadly, no one seems to have explained to Elizabeth the glaringly obvious flaw in her reasoning: Learned behaviors are not genetically transmissable!
Neurologist Seth Boatright-Horowitz explains that, because the tongue is so heavily represented in the brain’s cortex (as illustrated by the homunculus model of perception), compressing the organ between one’s lips essentially prevents its sensory input from distracting a person from the difficult task at hand. This possibility, however, does not account for the critical fact that Arnie was seemingly unafflicted at earlier games.
The most likely culprit is the rare condition macroglossia. In addition to tongue protrusion, symptoms include noisy, high-pitched breathing and snoring. Some are born with it; others acquire the disorder through disease or trauma. We can only speculate that Arnie’s newly acquired compulsion is caused by the stress and anguish of being beaten by WPNI for the second time this season.
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